confidence-building
course November 2010

Co-Counselling International (CCI) exists in many countries, especially in Europe, North America and Australasia. It has been going for about 30 years.
After completing the course you will have access to the CCI network, and if you join a local CCI group you will receive contact details of other co-counsellors. You may, if you wish, attend workshops and residentials, where you can experience ways of working and playing together free from some of the restrictive interactions of the everyday world. The environment on these weeks or week-ends can be truly liberating. Workshops get offered on a wide variety of themes, and you can learn to run workshops yourself if you wish.

Local Gatherings
Gatherings are usually non-residential and are organised on a local basis. For example, in West Yorkshire they tend to happen in Leeds. Currently we have a series of Friday Gatherings. These are generally happen once every three Months, on the first Friday evening of a Month. This year they are set for Friday March 1st, then early June, September and December.

What happens at a gathering? We have an opening cirlce, then see what everyone wants. Usually this will involve either a group activity or session, or else we pair up and have two-way sessions. Or we do both.

As well as gatherings, we have longer non-residential workshops or gatherings, sometimes called Community Days. They would be on a Saturday or Sunday for four or five hours. We have an opening circle, goup and/or pair work, and maybe a part that is facilitated by someone on a particular theme. We also eat together.

Residential Events
These are either a week-end (including the Monday if it's a Bank Holiday) or else a whole week. A small group (say 3-4 people) will book a venue and do the necessary publicity. The organising group will welcome people to the event, and host the initial opening circle which gets the event started. They will also devise a blank timetable structure, which usually has spaces for morning and afternoon workshops. Evening activities are generally more social, relaxation or fun based (singing, games, cabaret, dancing, bonfires, music, massage etc, or just chatting). Cost varies from event to event, but most are low to medium cost. Many offer cheaper prices if you camp.

The blank workshop spaces are then filled, as the event progresses, by workshops that people either want or offer. These workshops are either peer-led or else facilitated by the person who offers. They are either strictly co-counselling based, or non-co-counselling, or else a mixture of the two. The person who suggested the workshop makes it clear what is on offer. The workshops often have a theme (e.g. loss, saying goodbye, choosing, voice-work, body-work, sound and voice, dramatherapy, ''Five Dances'', - the list is almost endless). You attend the workshops that appeal to you.

A note about challenge and support.... These workshops have elements built into them that are aimed to help create a supportive environment. We usually form support groups (usually 4-7 people) early on at the event. They meet for an hour each day e.g. after tea-time. At the beginning of a residential attention is often given to helping everyone - not just ''new people'' - settle in. This may be, for example, some group-building exercise, or a session-based workshop on ''being here''. At some events people may choose to have a ''buddy''. The point of all this is to help create an environment where it feels safe enough to take the risks involved in personal growth. Ultimately however, no situation is entirely free from risk or challenge. Also, if you need some support at a specific time, you may need to take the responsibility for asking for it.

CCI-Europe Go to this for the international atmosphere - people from the UK, Germany, Hungary, Holland, Ireland, USA and other places. It's the biggest event 60 - 100 people. Lots of workshops usually on offer. The venue rotates each year: Scotland (1999), Republic of Ireland (2000), Hungary (2001), Holland (2002), England (2003), Germany (2004), Republic of Ireland (2005).


One of the splendid rooms at An Grianan, Termonfeckin, Ireland, venue for the 2005 CCI gathering.

McCoCo, in Scotland, usually in Spring. There are children's places available. This is organised by the Scottish co-counsellors and attracts both Scottish and English participants. It's run on the same lines as Unstone, and is usually at Wiston Lodge. This is a stunningly beautiful venue: the natural setting offers both the possibility of peace and seclusion from the outside world and an invigorating and stimulating environment for personal growth. The house has grounds, woodland walks and attached land amounting to 55 acres. The food at the Lodge is fresh and truly wonderful: the food at this event will be vegetarian. Sleeping accommodation is in shared rooms. You are also welcome to camp.



Views of Wiston Lodge and part of its grounds

Monkton Wyld, Dorset (Bath - Salisbury area) This year it is in March. This is similar to Unstone too, with about 35 places, though none for children this year.

Grimstone Manor, Devon, November Another week-end residential. Nice venue.

Co-Counselling at Laurieston Hall, Near Dumfries, SW Scotland. There are usually two events:
a) One week long, usually in August. Numbers: 63 (12 childrenmaximum).
b) One week long, usually in June, adults only. Numbers: 35.
This event has a truly liberating atmosphere. Children love it here too. The place is a kind of oasis away from ''normal life'', with wonderful home-grown food, shelter from traffic, a co-operative living environment and a truly wonderful natural setting - woods, gardens, loch, wood-burning sauna, pond, big old house. There are usually lots of workshops, and it may be possible to take a journey into and out of oneself. Look up on a dark night, and the stars shine bright.



Views of Laurieston Hall and part of its grounds

Spring CCI at Unstone Grange, Derbyshire This is the Spring event for CCI in England, in a big old house South of Chesterfield, over a long week-end. Numbers are 30 - 45. It'similar to Barmoor only with more workshops, less child-focussed, and more opportunities for challenge, if that is what you seek. Children are still welcome though, and childcare is shared by those who either wish to do it or have who brought kids with them.


Photos of Unstone Grange

CCI-USA Near Hartford, Connecticut. This is the annual event in Spring organised by our American friends.


Wisdom House, Near Hartford, Connecticut: one of the venues used for the annual CCI gathering in the USA.

New Zealand There is a CCI event in New Zealand too, usually January.

Let’s suppose you are interested in working on a certain issue or theme: the theme could be, for example, death, eccentricity, ageing, food and eating, intimacy, friends, my home, schooldays etc. You can offer this workshop yourself. People who sign up for your workshop meet for an agreed length of time, typically a couple of hours. First, have an opening circle, e.g. a round of names and a quick check-in: ‘how I am feeling right now’. Next, a sharing round – what has drawn you to come to this workshop. Next, have sessions, usually two-way, in pairs. This could equally be in a group, with equal time. This latter is something I sometimes prefer because it keeps the energy in the group. Next, have a plenary sharing round, then, closing circle. That’s it!

This might seem rather simple, and it is a simple format. But lots can come up. Try it out, if you have not yet done so. But NB, there is a risk in offering a workshop: people might not come! They may prefer to go to a competing workshop, or have an afternoon off – walk in the woods etc. So, you may have to face feelings of rejection – uncomfortable, but maybe useful.

I like to offer workshops that give me the opportunity to face things I find difficult. Some of these are straight ‘co-counselling’ workshops that have a strong element of co-counselling, and others are ‘non-co-counselling workshops’. In such a format the ground rules of equal time may not apply, and there may be an interpersonal element. Note that the normal co-counselling contract deliberately leaves out of the equation any addressing of the interpersonal relationship between client and counsellor.

Richard Mills
December 2009